"Quanta...like spit in the dust of a baseball field" - Cody

April 12, 2004

and another thing! (rant)

I just got a credit card offer from Discover Card. Forget the fact that I used to have a card from them, or the fact that I canceled the card because I was so creeped out that my monthly payment had to be sent to Utah, of all places. I canceled that card more than a year ago with specific instructions for them not to market to me in the future.

And today I get an offer with a flimsy transparent blue "Platinum" card with a fake number on it. Who does that appeal to!?!? What possible effect could that fake card have to convince me to accept a 19.99% interest rate?

I almost took a picture of the card to show you, but instead I decided to take it with me the next time I left the house and drop it onto the first pile of dog crap I come across. Just picture a shit-covered blue-transparent Discover card being telekinetically swiped through the mouth of our dear leader shrub and that's how I feel about national politics today.

Posted by cbsisco at April 12, 2004 09:46 PM

I have a theory about those fake credit cards that seem to come in every credit card offer envelope. They think that you'll feel that there's a card inside and have to open it to make sure that it's not a real one that you're about to throw away, that some bum will find in the garbage and use your credit to buy himself some nice designer drugs for a change... but in the act of opening it and verifying that it is a fake card that can be discarded you'll be A) so attracted to the stylish/colorful card that you'll want to carry it in your wallet so sales girls (or guys) will be like "Oooh, cute card" OR B) you'll see their "amazingly low" interest rate and think, "I'm so glad I opened this, now I can transfer all of my high-interest balances to this nearly-as-high-interest-rate card!"

Posted by: Kristina at April 13, 2004 07:21 AM

Someone told me the most hilarious story about what they do with their junkmail. They all come with envelopes with the postage pre-paid right? Well you send MasterCard an application for Discover and vice-versa, etc., etc., etc. That way, we can keep those hardworking mail-men employed so that they don't go postal and those corporate fuckers get it back in their faces!

Posted by: Clint at April 14, 2004 09:45 AM

my aunt told me about mailing back their junk. but i doubt she told you. this is an unsolved mystery.

Posted by: michele at April 14, 2004 11:11 AM

Oh Robert Stack you have left us in this world with so many unsolved mystery.

Posted by: Clint at April 15, 2004 04:14 AM

I'm going to trump the "mailing back their junk" option, with the "mailing them my junk" option. I think I just found the perfect storage solution for all my old papers from high school.

Discover Card is first, and it gets...a junior year math quiz!

Posted by: cody at April 15, 2004 08:52 PM